Everyone loves a good joke. So I hope to make you laugh with these soccer jokes!
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/8d21fa_8c76d090c51245399f064bb2f99feac3~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_627,h_376,al_c,q_80,enc_avif,quality_auto/8d21fa_8c76d090c51245399f064bb2f99feac3~mv2.jpg)
Why shouldn’t you play soccer with pigs?
Their ball hogs.
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_9e1f9ca02d6d47f684a978a4ac18aa74~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_980,h_652,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/nsplsh_9e1f9ca02d6d47f684a978a4ac18aa74~mv2.jpg)
What’s a soccer fan’s favorite lotion brand?
Olay, olay, olay, olay!
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_74dc4b719d3645849d3a8a32763d45c4~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_980,h_649,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/nsplsh_74dc4b719d3645849d3a8a32763d45c4~mv2.jpg)
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
What do soccer players drink?
Penal-Tea!
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_6d2d677144527a624a4c51~mv2_d_6000_4000_s_4_2.jpg/v1/fill/w_980,h_653,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/nsplsh_6d2d677144527a624a4c51~mv2_d_6000_4000_s_4_2.jpg)
What do you call a soccer team’s lunch in the park?
A kick-Nic!
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_47307a6f59444676555851~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_980,h_735,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/nsplsh_47307a6f59444676555851~mv2.jpg)
What is a knight’s favorite soccer team?
New Castle
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_65d0aa0297314efdaf6ac5ec852989ef~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_980,h_1307,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/nsplsh_65d0aa0297314efdaf6ac5ec852989ef~mv2.jpg)
What does Guardiola do at halftime?
He gives his team a Pep talk.
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_55464e796a325635486a6b~mv2_d_6000_4000_s_4_2.jpg/v1/fill/w_980,h_653,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/nsplsh_55464e796a325635486a6b~mv2_d_6000_4000_s_4_2.jpg)
Why was the soccer pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner.
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/8d21fa_10186d926a0341c4bcdfaf57cf6b4107~mv2.jpeg/v1/fill/w_980,h_735,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/8d21fa_10186d926a0341c4bcdfaf57cf6b4107~mv2.jpeg)
Why is Manchester United like a pound coin?
They’re good in the UK, but useless in Europe
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_18ce37889a054ad69f08a7cb638747f9~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_980,h_1307,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/nsplsh_18ce37889a054ad69f08a7cb638747f9~mv2.jpg)
What is the difference between a Parrot and FC Barcelona?
A parrot has two decent wings.
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_6238346e4d35572d414630~mv2_d_3844_5766_s_4_2.jpg/v1/fill/w_980,h_1470,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/nsplsh_6238346e4d35572d414630~mv2_d_3844_5766_s_4_2.jpg)
Why can’t you play soccer in a jungle?
There are too many cheetahs.
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_3926bbe16aeb458dbfd50734e98ceeae~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_980,h_669,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_avif,quality_auto/nsplsh_3926bbe16aeb458dbfd50734e98ceeae~mv2.jpg)
Pessimists see the glass half empty, and optimists see the glass half full, while England never sees the cup.
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/8d21fa_3c2c4575b0c2457b9a11b4f5a8354341~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_559,h_916,al_c,q_85,enc_avif,quality_auto/8d21fa_3c2c4575b0c2457b9a11b4f5a8354341~mv2.jpg)
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